New Years Resolutions

*Disclaimer: This post was originally supposed to be published on a separate blog that I also write for, however, with the new year comes new changes and said blog is having a little makeover (which a lot of us could use, actually). Because I spent hours typing this up, and because I find myself sometimes funny, I didn’t want it to go to waste. Let’s just say I’m “going green” for the new year.

I hope you all had a very merry holiday, whether you celebrate the birth of Jesus or the birth of a food baby, in which case, TMI. With that being said, the holidays are over. Christmas has come and gone. New Years flashed in the blink of an eye, and now we find ourselves hungover, a few pounds heavier, and staring at our list of New Years Resolutions that we scribbled drunkenly on a napkin at the IHOP on Canal. Don’t judge.

I, for one, love the idea of New Years Resolutions. I love it so much, I’m capitalizing that shit, because, to me, it’s proper. Kind of like a bow tie. Or ordering Riesling over Pinot Grigio. Every year, I make New Years Resolutions, and every year, I break them. You can only put “learn a new instrument” on your list for so many years, but, alas, there it is once again. Don’t worry, French horn, I shall learn you soon enough.

I’ve compiled my list for this year, and in hopes to inspire some of you slackers out there, I’m sharing it with you. Break out your pen, paper, and motivation, because 2015 is OUR YEAR, MILLENNIALS. WE GOT SHIT TO DO.

1. Lose Weight

Okay, I kind of feel like this one is a mandatory goal. I mean, we live in New Orleans, yo. Eating clean and working out everyday just isn’t going to happen for the majority of us. My idea of cardio and eating clean is running to the Whole Foods after work and loading up my cardboard box with feta and grape leaves. “It’s from Whole Foods,” I think to myself, “It must be good for me.” Whatever works. For those of you who are looking to get fit and don’t feel like trudging along in Audubon or City Park, I’ve got two fun options for you!

  • Life Yoga – 5422 1/2 Magazine St. or their newest location in Lakeview at 140 W. Harrison Ave
    • I am a huge fan of Life Yoga, and I make it a point to go at least twice a week. By practicing yoga, not only are you channeling muscle groups you didn’t even know existed, but you’re also focusing on your breath and flexibility, both of which are super important to overall health and success in fitness. Plus, at Life, they’re super friendly and spray essential oils in the air and sometimes massage your head, so you leave smelling like peppermints and headache-free. The classes range from $6-$12/class, and they also offer packages. Check out their boutique, too!
  • Happy’s Running Club NOLA – Happy’s Irish Pub on Poydras
    • If you love running and drinking, then Happy’s is for you. I’ve been meaning to check out this band of drinking athletes for awhile now, because nothing says a good time like quenching your post-run thirst with beer. The club meets every Wednesday, rain or shine, at 5:48pm with a set time to embark on their run at 6:16pm. Precise. I dig it. The cost of membership is $35 and this includes one drink per run, a shirt, and free food/drinks and their quarterly parties. Each run is around a 5k, and everyone is welcome!

Eat Right

Some of you might be thinking, “Oh, good, She’s going to talk about the best place to buy kale.” First of all, kale can go f*ck itself. Secondly, the best place is definitely Whole Foods. When I say “Eat Right”, what I really mean is “Where to Get Some Damn Good Food”. Like I previously mentioned, we do live in New Orleans after all and life is about balance.

  • District Hand Pie & Coffee Bar – 5637 Magazine St.
    • I feel like I’m always singing the praises of the District crew, but it’s because I love their product so much, and I also love the way they run their businesses. I work not far from their latest attempt to take over Magazine St. with awesomeness, and watching this place go through renovation got the inner fat kid within me ten kinds of excited. Since opening, it’s gotten me ten pounds heavier as well. District Hand Pie & Coffee Bar offers a variety of hand pies ranging from savory like Shepherd’s Pie to sweet like Cherry Basil. Their coffee menu also differs from their other location by adding Sproca-Cola (Mexican cola, espresso, chocolate milk over ice) and Cafe Caviar (floated coffee caviar over a shot of chicory milk). I mean, SERIOUSLY? Who thinks of this shit? I want to shake his hand.
  • Lüke – 333 St. Charles Ave
    • Lüke is life. I love Lüke. I visited this restaurant last Christmas with three of my college girlfriends, and I was blown away. The food! The drinks! The cute servers! It’s every foodie’s dream. First, start your evening with one of their amazing cocktails. I recommend their French 75 and Riverbend. Also, don’t leave this restaurant without ordering their Jumbo Louisiana Shrimp “en Cocotte.” Bring Kleenex, because you’ll be shedding tears of joy throughout the entire evening.

Give Back

With 55.7% of people in Louisiana being single, you’d expect nothing less than 55.7% of the population to be a tad selfish and self-focused, which is fine, but only for so long. Instead of starting the New Year thinking of only yourself, why don’t you think of others who might be in need? Louisiana, and New Orleans, in particular, is home to plenty of volunteer opportunities and kickstarters that could use a little funding.

  • Help Children Learn to Read through American Youth Literacy Foundation
    • You’d be surprised to discover the percentage of people who don’t know how to read. What an amazing privilege it would be to help someone, especially a child, achieve a skill that most of us take for granted daily. This volunteer opportunity is available to anyone with a passion and a heart for teaching and giving back, but I think it would be especially great for teens and young adults. Not only would you be helping a child, but you would be instilling values within a young volunteer to continue to give back to their community as they mature. It’s a win-win! The program is free, and you are fully trained on the most effective way to approach the lessons.
  • Operation New Orleans – American Strays Project
    • The issue of stray animals in our community has reached an all-time high, and it’s about time we do something about it. As a fellow animal lover, my heart breaks every time I see a stray, especially if it’s a dog. An over-abundance of strays is not only sad, but it’s also becoming a health and safety concern for the community, being that so many of these animals carry diseases, as well as exhibit aggressive behavior. Please consider donating to this Indiegogo campaign which hopes to raise $500 by January 3rd to bring the World Annual Awareness Society to New Orleans to present the American Strays 2030 Project in hopes to reduce and resolve the stray dog population in our community.

Support Local

With big Christmas purchases from Apple and Wal-Mart being behind us, it’s time to begin the new year by returning to our New Orleanian roots and supporting local. In other words, why would you drive 20 miles for Taaka when you’ve got a bottle of Tito’s in your liquor cabinet? …Did that even make sense?

  • Dirty Coast – 5631 Magazine St./329 Julia St.
    • I’ve found myself complimenting people’s shirts a lot lately (what can I say? I like shirts), and every single one has been from Dirty Coast. Their shirts are amazing and come equipped with a twist of humor and a dollop of New Orleans on every one. That sounded weird. I’m keeping it. Luckily, I work right down the street from a store, so I can pop on over anytime and buy shirts until my closet can’t hold anymore. ISN’T LIFE GRAND? Swing by one of their stores or website and purchase one of your favorites. I know they’ll have some pretty spectacular ones floating around soon for Carnival. See what I did there? No? Okay, cool.
  • Petcetera – 3205 Magazine St.
    • Okay, so you’ve already bought yourself five billion shirts from Dirty Coast. Now it’s time to cater to your fur babies, because, they need love too, dammit. Petcetera is a locally owned full service pet boutique. It’s a one stop shop for all things pets! You can bring your dog here to get groomed, visit their bakery for a yummy treat for your pet, and also schedule a pet portrait session. Ever wanted to take glamour shots with your cat? Now’s your chance! I don’t even have a pet, but now I want to get one just so I can visit this place.

Party Hard

A New Orleanian’s New Years Resolutions list simply cannot not include one of the things we’re most known for: partying. That’s like telling a wizard he can’t use his wand. Like telling a doctor their stethoscope is useless. LIKE TELLING YOUR MOM YOU DON’T LOVE HER. You just simply do not do it. Anyway, because there’s a party every other day in New Orleans (maybe even everyday if you know the right people), I’m going to include one huge party that I absolutely, 100%, no questions asked CANNOT wait for. It’s the only one that matters to me, as of now. It’s the party that people travel from all over the world to attend. The party where we welcome drinking heavily in public. The party where dressing like a sparkly unicorn (even in Metairie) is acceptable! THE PARTY WHERE YOU CAN SHOW YOUR BOOBS FOR BEADS.

  • CARNIVAL SEASON IS (almost) UPON US. Twelfth Night begins on Monday, January 5th and Mardi Gras Day is Tuesday, February 17th. And every single day in between? One giant party. It’s all happening so soon, and I just have SO MANY FEELINGS. Knowing that king cake will grace my lips in a few days brings me so much joy, I could cry tears of purple, green, and gold. Everyone, start clearing your calendars, planning your parade outfits, and preparing your stomachs for a heavy dose of gluten, because it’s (almost) time to Mardi Gras.

Again, I hope you all had a fantastic holiday season, and Happy New Year! Let’s make 2015 a great year full of love, laughter, and probably more Ebola scares because #dramatic. If you haven’t created your New Years Resolutions list, I encourage you to do so. Not only does it make you accountable for goals to accomplish within the new year, but it also forces you to actually write stuff down. With a real pen. A skill you learned as a wee babe that might’ve taken flight over the years. Damned digital age.

If you have compiled a list of goals already, I applaud you! Now, go forth and make shit happen. Be better, basically. #lol

How are you planning to stay fit, eat right, and pose with your cat in the year 2015? Share your resolutions with me and everyone else who reads this blog in the Comments Section! I triple dog dare you.

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