Why College > The Real World

I really should’ve listened all of those times my family members said, “Enjoy these four years, because they’ll be the best of your life.” At the time, I thought, “Yeah, yeah I know. Writing papers rocks.” Now that I’m older and wiser and have a year post-grad under my belt, I’m weeping for college life again. Like, I’d probably seriously consider paying $25,000 to go back to college for four years. And then pay tuition again. And like, a billion dollars for books. BUT IT’S WORTH IT, BECAUSE MY COLLEGE ROCKED. Also, I’d be sure to get a degree in something that could actually earn me money after graduation. #actorlife

I sincerely miss college, though. I had an absolutely wonderful undergraduate experience. I’d kill (literally) to do it all over again.

Dorm Life vs Own House
Dorms may be small, but I can’t walk out of my room now and knock on the door next to mine and ask for late night advice/cherry red nailpolish/peanut butter to dip my animal crackers in. First of all, if I knocked on the door next to my bedroom, I’d be knocking on the laundry room door, and the last time I checked, washing machines don’t paint their nails. Also, it’s one thing when you’re dipping animal crackers into nut butters at midnight with a friend to vent to, but when you’re doing it alone, or worse, talking to the laundry room door, you know you’ve hit rock bottom.
Dorms: friends right next to you, a surplus of Essie, Jif AND Skippy

Class As A Job vs Job As A Job
Sometimes going to class sucked big ones, especially if numbers were involved (I’m looking at you, mathematics). One thing about going to class that I always looked forward to was carrying my thermos of coffee and knowing I’d sit by my very best classmate friends and have numerous chances to mock our professor. Ne’er got old! Who knew that bringing your own thermos of coffee to your job would get you weird looks (probs doesn’t help that I actually work in a coffeeshop) and mocking your boss is absolutely NOTHING like mocking your professor. Professors can’t kick you out of college, but bosses can, and will, fire your ass.
Class Job: crunching numbers with friends while highly caffeinated and mimicking Professor Whathisname’s lisp
Job Job: forgoing your Tervis and forgoing your sarcastic comebacks so you’re sure to make next month’s rent

Cafeteria Meals vs Cooking Your Own Meals
At my college, the cafeteria was located inside of the UC (University Center). It was called RFoC, which stands for Real Food on Campus. I’m still not 100% sure if the food was real, but I’d be lying if I told you that I didn’t miss it from time to time. Not having to think about what I’m going to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner or, worse, how I’m going to make it, was nice. Eating the same salad/sandwich combo for four years definitely got old, but, on the bright side, I lost a few pounds (probs from feeling too sick to eat anything else for the day because of said “real food”). Not having the luxury of a cafeteria at my disposal was quite the adjustment. Like, I had to toast my own bread this morning for my toast. What is that noise? Also, raw chicken. I just can’t. On the bright side, I live in New Orleans where the good food is plentiful, kind of like Lindsay Lohan’s DUIs.
Cafeteria Meals: can walk to UC, salad/sandwich whenever I wanted, b-words toast the bread for you
Cooking Your Own Meals: …having to cook, having to put thought into cooking, becoming poor because you’re too lazy to meal plan so you spend all your money at the Whole Foods hot bar

Y’all, college was the absolute shit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy in life right now, and I have some pretty snazzy plans on the horizon. But, damn. College rocked. If I could go back, I most certainly would. I would do so many algorithms. I would live in a closet-sized room again in a heart beat. And you bet your bottom dollar, I’d eat my weight in toast.

I’ll close with a little advice for you collegiates out there…

Stay in school. Drugs are for fugs. Use protection.

Talk to y’all soon,

What do you think?