A Baker’s Dozen: Part I

I haven’t been consistent in my posting, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about it. Sometimes, this blog is all I think about. “What do I want to write about today?” “Are people reading?” “Do I really need another piece of cake?” Etc.

In my previous post, I got real with you guys. And by got real, I mean just told you that I’m human and can’t always be chipper and cracking jokes like it’s my job.

*Side note: if anyone knows anyone who pays people to be chipper/crack jokes all the time, holla at ya girl. I can put a smile on for a paycheck even in my darkest hour. That’s why there’s this thing called champagne, aka happy serum.

My mind has been all over the place as of late. I’m going through many personal changes (and no, I don’t mean puberty), so, as sad as it sounds, posting everyday hasn’t been a priority.

We’re changing things up a bit today, and if it works out, it’ll be a regularly thing on ye olde Powered by Sass.

I present you with “A Baker’s Dozen”, which will be similar to a “Things I’m Loving…” or “Favorite Things…” post, if you’re familiar with those. It will consist of 13 “things” that are currently on my mind, which can range from ideas, short stories, donuts I’ve eaten, another interesting run-in at a park, etc.

Here we go!

1. You might be wondering why I’ve decided to call this “A Baker’s Dozen”. You may be thinking, “This is a blog about donuts” or “This is a blog about theatre” or “This bish don’t bake.” Well, you’re right and wrong. This IS a blog about donuts, this IS a blog about theatre, and I DO bake. So booyah/in yo face/your mama’s so fat/etc.

2. Speaking of baking: I had a hell of a day a few days back. I was on the verge of exploding. It was either drink a six pack of Stella that would just result in a lot of tummy bloat or taking my frustrations out in the kitchen. I chose the latter (and also drank a beer because #yolo). Jacob picked up a box of red velvet/blue velvet cake mix. I also let him have free reign and pick the icing, which ended up being electric blue that tasted like vanilla with neon sprinkles in the shapes of fish. Don’t ask. I’m still just as confused. Anyway, we baked this cake and layered the two “velvets” on top of one another. I think it was supposed to be “American”, like, with white icing, but instead it ended up looking like something you’d find at the bottom of the ocean, similar to algae. Mmmm, delish. I ate half of it in one night while watching season two of Orange is the New Black, which brings me to…

3. A customer stared at me weird the other day, and after exclaiming, “WHAT?”, she told me that I looked like Brook Soso from OITNB. Sorry I yelled at you, customer, and bless your soul for thinking I look like a bombshell Asian-American (I don’t have actual proof that she is Asian-American, but since people think I’m part Asian, I figured she is as well since we’re twins).


4. I’m getting technologically frustrated because my pictures won’t upload. Someone call 911, because this is a serious emergency. *Edited to add: PICTURES WORK. Just hire me already, Geek Squad.

5. Ever buy a tub of Cool Whip, freeze it, and then eat it with a spoon dipped in icing? Just me? Well damn.

6. Three things I see from my current view (which is my bed): a bottle of unopened Stella, original Pringles, and a globe that I begged some gals from a boutique to sell to me. #swagger

7. I went to my friend’s birthday party the other night, and, after having one too many, decided to blurt out, “Parties without theatre people is like brunch without mimosas!” My theatre friends LOVED that one. The other people? Not so much.


8. At said party, I got to drink out of a pimp cup while everyone else had red solo cups. And by pimp cup, I mean a plastic goblet from Disney World that had Belle’s face on it. Either way. I still win.


9. Whatever happened to Anne Hathaway?

10. My friend Brittany, who I’ve mentioned in previous posts, texted me earlier asking if I’d be down for an outdoor adventure in the near future. Couple things: I don’t do well with bugs (I have a legitimate fear of roaches), I think I have zero skin pigmentation, which means I burn very easily, I’m paranoid about contracting poison ivy, but I adore Brittany, so I will battle roaches, get crispy similar to how I like my shrimp, and laugh in the face of a poison ivy bush (and then accidentally inhale and get poison ivy IN MY LUNGS).

11. I hiked once. And then fell down a muddy mountainside. It was a good day.

12. I desperately need new running shoes. I’m currently using Asics Gel Lytes, which I love as if they were my own child, but how weird would it be to birth a shoe? Needless to say, I’ve logged quite a few miles in these bad boys and now it’s time for a new pair. I want to get my foot fitted and accessed so I have the perfect running shoe that also has enough support to transition for strength training. If any of you have suggestions, I’d love to hear them!

13. Despite the fact that I did go to District this morning for breakfast (J’s family is in town and have never been), I have been KILLING my workouts lately. I ran four times this week and strength trained three times. It feels so good getting back into the swing of things fitness and food related. Like, I craved a run yesterday and a supergreen smoothie. Who am I?

Fun fact: this took me two hours to write because I kept getting distracted with fixing my hair, giving myself a home manicure, and researching local festivals. Just call me Martha.

Talk to y’all soon,


What do you think?