Before I get started, I have a question to ask.
Is it Reese’s Pieces (Ree-sez Pee-sez) or is it Reese’s Pieces (Ree-seez Pee-seez)? I NEED TO KNOW. I discussed this with a friend of mine the other day for ten minutes straight. That’s ten minutes of my life that I will never get back.
Today had the potential to be one of those days where I just ask myself what I’m doing. It would be something similar to this: “Self, what are you doing?” Ninety-five percent of the time, I’m okay with who I am and what I do. I’m an actor, or that’s what I like to tell myself at least, but I also work in customer service. Am I happy about that? Not really. Am I okay with that at this point in my life? Not really. But I always remind myself that it could be worse. And it can.
While in college, I was always pursuing something, whether it be a production I was in, finishing up a research paper, or that one squirrel that always lurked around the Performing Arts Center (I just wanted to pet it, that’s all). There was always something going on. I was unstoppable. And then I graduated.
In May of 2013, I received my Bachelor’s degree in Film, Theatre and Communication Arts. A few months prior, I had received a phone call from a conservatory, The Art of Acting Studio, in Los Angeles informing me that I had been accepted. In my mind, I had a plan. I would graduate, and then I would move to L.A.
In August, I hopped a plane with my mom and we went to visit the school. Long story short, I didn’t move, and I had to decline the invitation to study at AOA. This decision was completely my own, and it was one of the toughest decisions to make. While the school was lovely, the city just wasn’t for me. I kid you not, the very first thing someone told me when I landed in L.A. was, “You will not make friends here.” OH GOOD, because I like to do life completely solo. Wrong. So, so wrong.
As I sit in my house in New Orleans, almost a year later, I find myself happy with where I am in life. Do I wonder how my life would be had I moved? Of course, but I wonder less and less as each day passes. New Orleans is my home, and, for now, it has my heart. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my eye on you, though, NYC. 😉 Because I do, you sexy thing, you.
Since graduating college, I have had my fair share of ups and downs. Let’s break it down.
High – signing with a film agent
This one was, and still is, the most exciting. Since signing with my agent, I have gone on numerous auditions for film, tv, and commercials. While this is a high point, it brings me to…
Low – no callbacks
A good friend of mine told me the other night, “Just because you didn’t receive a callback or book the job, doesn’t mean you aren’t a good actor. It doesn’t mean you don’t have talent.” All of this is true, it is, but knowing this and accepting this doesn’t lessen the blow when you don’t get called back/book the job. What I am focusing on, however, is doing MY part, which is auditioning. I study my lines, research my part, and I go in the room and do my thing. That’s all that I can do, and I have to accept that.
High – moving on up(town)
Left Gentilly. Moved Uptown. Walking distance to great restaurants and fantastic bars. Enough said.
High – finding an outlet within an acting class
I am a student through and through, and I will be forevermore, even though I am a graduate. In October, I signed up for a class that focused solely on the Meisner system. The class met twice weekly/6 hours per week, and it was my sanity. Of course, there were times where I didn’t feel like going, because “I didn’t feel like feeling anything.” That was my exact thought, which, looking back, is actually great, because it means the class was a success. Taking this Meisner class taught me a lot about acting and living truthfully in the moment. I also met some pretty great people, who I hope stay in my life for a long, long time. Also, shout out to Desiree (if you’re reading this), who went from teacher to friend in no time. Hi, Desiree!
Of course, there are more lows, and there are certainly more highs. I could continue on and on, but, to be honest, I have to pee, and I fear leaving this post halfway through will result in me not posting it. I’m weird like that.
The sun is finally peeking out behind the trees again. If I wanted to get all poetic, I’d compare the sun to my positivity peeking behind the shadows of my mind, but I won’t, because that’s LAME, and I’m cool, so. But, really, today started off rainy and weird, and because I’m dramatic, I tend to THINK OF ALL THE THINGS on “days like these”.
Instead, I’m focusing on the good. I’m keeping my goal in mind, which is to be an actor. To remain an actor, I should say. I’m going on auditions, I’m doing my part. The rest is up to them, them being the casting directors.
So, CDs, the ball is in your court. You can either make my life, or you can break it. But please don’t, because I will find you. I will turn on my location services in my iPhone, and I will open my Maps app, and I will find you… and politely say, “Thank you for your time” with a smile, and also possibly hand you my headshot and resume again because habit.
Sincerely Yours, Respectfully Yours, k b–
Talk to y’all soon,